Romantic Atmosphere

Greetings, my fellow masters of intimacy.

Today I’d like to talk to you about romance, as there is nothing more pleasurable for a woman than a safe setting and a romantic atmosphere. We tend to project our own thoughts onto others, and at times this habit can be a recipe for disaster. Most men tend to think in quantifiable figures – 6” long, 10 minutes of friction, 2 orgasms, the girl was an 7/10 etc. We like objectivity.

Most women are very different. If you ask a woman about the best sexual experience of her life, you won’t hear any numbers. You’re much more likely to hear about candles, music, “magical” feeling, “deep” connection, and all sorts of other non-specific descriptions.

Moreover, there’s a chemical difference as well. Men prefer the endorphines released during orgasm. Women prefer the oxytocin released by hugging/caressing/cuddling. So while for a man orgasm is more important than cuddling, for most women it is the other way around – 15 minutes of cuddling will make the worst sex feel good, even if the guy came in his pants without even reaching penetration.

These are important factors to understand, as our goal as good lovers is to please our women, and not just ourselves. The more we please the woman, the more “alive” she will be and the better sex will become for us as well. Not to mention the advantages of a good reputation as an incredible lover.

Pay attention to the things women like; the things they will remember.

1. First, make sure the session isn’t interrupted by nuisances; work out the logistics to make sure you have everything you might need – privacy, clean sheets, condoms, lubricant, baby-wipes (so useful), access to a shower etc.

2. Second, make sure you create the right atmosphere:

a) Candles – I prefer electric ones (to avoid fire hazard, or smoke alarms going off), 3-4 in different corners of the room. They cost a few dollars, live forever, and are very easy to handle.

b) Music – a portable music player costs $20, a portable speaker costs another $20, and some anbient/meditation music can be downloaded for free. I prefer to match the music to the type of sex I want to have, and the temperament of your woman: soft ambient music for gentle lovemaking, rock & roll for passionate animal sex, and everything in-between for everything in-between. Dancing is the vertical expression of horizontal desire, so as a rule of thumb – any music you can dance to is good for bedroom as well.

c) Warm temperature, clean & soft sheets, and lots of cushions – just like they’ve always seen in movies and fantasized about. You want her to feel comfortable naked, and not hiding under a blanket to keep herself from freezing. You want her relaxed and cuddly, and not disgusted with how dirty the place is. And if you need to make her more comfortable in a certain pose, or modify the angle a little bit, you don’t want to stop run to another room for an extra cushion. You want everything you need at arms length.

3. Third, go slow and make her feel special:
a) Spend 10-15m lightly touching her entire body, without concentrating on “the fun parts” at all; everyone likes her fun parts, but YOU like her in her entirety, right?

b) Pay full attention, and place full INtention into what you’re doing. Explore her like you’ve never seen anything like her before, as if she were a cross between an ancient godess and your favorite toy

c) You’ve heard of foreplay, right? Now start thinking about mid-play and post-play. Always play!

d) Be patient. Whatever you want to do – do it four times slower than your intuition tells you. Only move forward to the “standard stuff” when you see that she can’t take anymore teasing. With some women it happens pretty fast, but most have a huge untapped “heating-up” capacity that men ignore – before ever getting to the main course, you can generate enormous amounts of heat in her body, until she is just waiting to explode. Most women don’t even know what their bodies are capable of, because no man has ever persisted long enough to find out; I’ve seen women lie in shock and disbelief for hours after sex, amazed at what their bodies have just done.

e) Give them an ending. For most it means cuddling (not grabbing her tits; CUDDLING, while doing nothing else). For some (neat-freaks mostly) a shower is a must, or they won’t be able to relax.

This is where you show gratitude to her; she doesn’t open up to just anyone, she is special (or at least, wants to feel like she is); so you are grateful that she chose you and let you come so close.

Do that, and you’ll soon hear legends about how unbelievable you are in bed – no matter how big you are, or how long you can last.

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Sincerely yours,
Ethan.